Upside Down Kingdom

Over the past 2.5 months since coming to Honolulu for DTS (Discipleship Training School) with YWAM, my life and perspective has changed radically. The theme coming into our DTS quarter is "All in. All for. All because of Jesus." 

The other day I was talking with my friend Anna, about all that I have been learning since I arrived in Hawaii but also some struggles I still have. It's not easy to put things into words, especially when you don't what you are feeling or why. I have been feeling anxious about the future and about going to Indonesia. I love the team that I'm apart of but I worry about what I will do once we come back. I am done with school so I won't be doing that like many other young people will be doing. 

I don't have a place to call my own even though I do have family to stay with temporarily. I don't have a husband either so I am doing this alone. I feel as though I have been wandering through life alone and its hard at times, even though I do have friends that come into my life, everything seems temporary and inconsistent.

She said that I'm longing for connection. She encouraged me to pray for a mentor. Someone who is walking with me in life. 

This began to trigger memories of when I had a similar discussion with my friend Alex who encouraged me to pray for a name and I got Michelle. I confessed to Michelle some struggles I was having with a non-Christian guy I liked and she gave me helpful counsel at the time. 

Coincidentally, she became my leader for nearly 3 years. She was an excellent leader and really helped me walk through much and heal along the way; but in the midst of those 3 years I made a lot of unwise decisions and endured much pain as a result. I realize that it was hard for me to submit fully with my actions. I always thought of myself as a submissive person but there was hidden pride and control I had. I felt extremely insecure and fearful.

 Its funny how many lessons you can learn from something that seems so minor. Coming to this particular DTS where majority of the staff and students are younger than me has really taught me so much. I made so many mistakes in the past when it comes to submission to authority. I feel like this is the ultimate test to see whether or not I have learned from those mistakes made.

God has been teaching me a lot about what it means to submit to those that He has placed above me in authority.

 Can you submit and choose to submit to those younger than you? Can you remain teachable? Can you respect their decisions even if you have doubts? What will it take for God to teach me humility? Jesus was submissive to the father and even to his own creation. 

Upside down kingdom - God does things that don't make sense. Use the bible as your standard not the world's. 

What does leadership look like? What does it mean to be a leader?  

"Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage." Hebrews 13:17 ESV

Next Sunday, we will be heading out to Indonesia for 28 days and Malaysia for 6 weeks. 

Please keep our team in your prayers as we prepare to head out!

*Pray for good health and protection over our team!! 

*Pray for grace over us as we finish preparing sermons and packing!!

*Pray that I will continue to remain teachable, humble and submissive - learn and grow more in these areas.